Top 3 Reasons Why Your Man Isn't Communicating With You


I have shortlisted the top 3 reasons why men are keeping their mouths shut when they shouldn't. Well, I am guilty of doing these in my earlier relationships and as a result things didn't go quite well for me.

My partners experienced frustrations in our relationships. Communication stalemate eventually ended all my previous relationships. Because of the past failures, I decided to change myself and over the years I have learnt to express myself. 

Now, I will share with you the top 3 reasons why your man isn't communicating with you.


You are moving too fast
He feels that he cannot communicate with you. He wanted to pick up your emotions accurately but you are moving too fast, waves of of emotions came through your messages one after and other before he can identify any of them. It's overwhelming for most men. You are moving too fast for him to catch up. He doesn't have enough time to read all the emotions that you have expressed, it is not easy to acknowledge your emotions when you are moving too fast. He fears that he might read your emotions incorrectly.

We are not sensitive enough to pick up the rhythm of women's emotions. I have spent one weekend observing couples on the streets, the men usually give up because they couldn't caught up with the rhythm. You have to slow down give him sufficient time to pick up your emotions.


He underestimates you
He feels that you cannot understand what he is trying to express. Men aren't good at identifying feelings let alone expressing them. Feelings are usually expressed broadly and vaguely. Being the least verbal of both sexes, we express our feelings through actions and sometimes no action is also a way we communicate how we feel.

Your partner probably feels the same way that's why his feelings are kept deep inside of him. He overlooked that you are able to read his mind through vague expression of emotions. 

And because we couldn't express our feelings clearly we assumed that our partners cannot understand exactly how we feel. I have to agree with the cliché that it isn't a man's forte when it comes to the expression of feelings. It takes a lot of patience. You can help him to answer your question by asking him questions that will lead him to give you an answer.


He is facing a catastrophe
He is in deep trouble like a career failure and he doesn't want you to know. A man's self-esteem is associated to the success of his career and financial achievements and when they fail he sees himself as a loser in life.

It doesn't make him any feel better by talking about, in actual fact it stresses him out.

I remembered the time when I was lost my job, I kept everything to myself and talked to no one about it including my parents. I went through countless interviews (maybe 50+ times?) and answered the same set of questions repeatedly. I came to a point where I needed a break from the interviews.

So, picture people "interviewing" him about his problems, he has go through the same process over and over again. He has to recall his problems every time he talks about it. It creates fatigue, stress and eventually he shuts up. Repetitions caused negative emotions to surface.

Instead of asking him the same thing again, try telling him straight. Let him know that no matter what problems he is facing you there for him, telling instead of asking ,opens him instantly.

Jonathan Robinson  explained the concept of "self-esteem bank account" in his book, Communication Miracles for Couples (available in paperback and Kindle Edition), the adding and taking away of a man's self-esteem. A good read if you want the know-how to communicate with your partner.

Couples Communication Guide to Love and Happiness (available in paperback and Kindle Edition) is another great book with lots of ideas to improve communication with your partner.

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.


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Top 3 Reasons Why Your Man Isn't Communicating With You Top 3 Reasons Why Your Man Isn't Communicating With You Reviewed by Brent S. Duncan on 6:50 AM Rating: 5

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