Three Reasons Why She Is Trapped In A Third Party Relationship

Today's article is about female third party. Read about the 3 reasons for trapping herself.

We will explore the 3 reasons why a third party is trapped in her relationship with a married man but she doesn't want to get out of it. She is aware that there's no future in a third party relationship but she is not letting go, she is holding on tightly, and is obviously not happy but she couldn't help it. She got herself trapped and is unwilling to break away.

Lack of confidence - This could come from her childhood or adult life when the people in her life, especially her family or ex-boyfriends, gave negative comments about her. She was told that she isn't attractive enough or she is unworthy of anyone, no man would want a relationship with her, it affects the way she values herself and in this process her self-esteem was wounded to a point that she actually believes that she is worthless. She began to form negative opinion of herself. Then came a married man who is experienced in dealing with woman, he knows how to make a woman feels good and wanted. He knows what she needs and why she is lacking in confidence he then exploited her weakness. 

He makes her feels good about herself and wanted. He makes false projections to her that he values her as much as his wife. For the first time in her life, she felt worthy and desirable to someone. There is someone out there who actually wants her badly despite having a wife at home. This creates a false assessment that she is attractive and desirable. 

In a one to one relationship, if it fails she might see herself as a failure, this could come from past relationship failures and she doesn't have confidence in such relationship anymore. However, in a third party relationship, she knows for sure that there is no future in such relationship, she is mentally and emotionally prepared that it will end one day so even if it ends it is not a failure, she is not as hurt as she would in a one to one relationship. Therefore, even though her status is a third party in this relationship, she is still willing.


She sees herself as Savior - The married man told her that he is unhappy in in his marriage but he isn't straight to the point, he give hints each time he sees her like removing his wedding ring, getting himself drunk, putting up an upset facial expression every time he talks his marriage. He sent out signals that this marriage is on the rock and he wished that there is someone he can talk to. What are the most common complaints about his spouse? - His cannot satisfy his needs. He doesn't feel loved by his wife anymore. She is too busy with her career that she neglected the family. He is saying that he felt distant from his wife, he doesn't feel mutually close to her and his emotional needs are not met.

He wants to talk someone about his problems but he has no one to talk to. She felt pity for this married man and is willing provide comfort and listen to his stories. But that pity transcended into love feelings for this man. She is under this illusion that she can make him feels loved. She has unknowingly sees herself as a Savior to his marriage problems.

She will attempt to take him out of the troubled waters and as long as he is in it and she is not going to give up until he is "saved". Despite that it is socially and morally unacceptable she will sacrifice herself for this cause.


A need for security - She has lost her father in her childhood because of that she didn't have a chance to experience the fatherly love a man can bring to her.  For a child to feel safe and secure both parents need to be around during childhood development but this emotional security and protection that both parents can provide to a child is not available to someone who grew up in a single parent family. Her emotional security was taken away from her and as a result her character is unstable and vulnerable. Her needs to feel secured cannot be satisfied by ordinary means.

She needs a matured man in her life but she doesn't just want someone who is older but one with family and children. The difference between a single matured man and a married mature man is the projection of care giving and provision of security to his wife and children either financially or emotionally. If the man is married with children then he is simply irresistible to her, this is the fatherly figure which she longs for and is missing since her childhood. He also projects strength, a man who can protect his family when they need him, it triggers her needs to feel secured and protected.

She doesn't want to let go even though she is a third party and this relationship is going nowhere, letting go means taking away her security when she is desperate for it.


I am not saying that every men involved in extramarital affair are manipulative or have deliberately misled another woman into his marriage, some of them genuinely have marriage issues that are unresolved which create opportunities for a third party to step in.

What to do if you are the third party?
You have to ask yourself these three questions:

Is the love you want so unworthy? 
- Being a third party, you are going to be despised and imagine how people will label you when the relationship is exposed.

Are you really saving him from his marriage problems or are you sabotaging his marriage?
- Don't let your self-righteousness blind you.

How good a family man is he if he is involved in an extramarital affair? 
- Find a man who can bring you into marriage and forms a family with you, which is more real than being involved with a married man.

What to do if your husband has an affair?
Forget it if you intend to take revenge on the woman outside, she doesn't stand a chance to break in if there're no cracks in your marriage. Sign up for Save My Marriage if you still want to keep your marriage. Work on your relationship first before anything else. Look at the underlying issues instead of confronting that woman because it doesn't save your marriage at all.

If you are man, what should you do if your wife finds out about your affairs?
You know that you have hurt your wife and you want to make amends and save your marriage. Apologies will mean nothing to your wife once the trust is broken. You got to make amend using your actions. When you promised to break off with the outside party, make sure you do what you mean. Only actions can build trust, words are cheap when your extramarital affair is exposed. Read this book How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair(Click here for the Kindle edition) - Your wife cannot get on her feet from the setbacks, You have to help her recover from your mistakes.

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Three Reasons Why She Is Trapped In A Third Party Relationship Three Reasons Why She Is Trapped In A Third Party Relationship Reviewed by Brent S. Duncan on 12:52 AM Rating: 5

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