The 3+3 Principles That Makes Long Distance Relationship Works

In today's article, I will share with you how to make long distance relationships work.

This is probably one of the most challenging relationship to maintain because there just too many challenges to overcome. One of the main challenge comes from the lack of understanding from the people around you especially your friends and family. They cannot understand why you have to get yourself involved in such relationship and they might even dissuade you from entering one. But you have listened to your heart and went ahead. Perhaps you have also tried to convince them that there is a future in this relationship.

But what's the success rate?

60% will succeed while 40% failed, I would say the rate of failure is rather high. Unlike short distance relationship, your partner is at an arm's length away or just one bedroom away from you. In a long distance relationship you and partner are cities or even countries apart. From the numbers in the statistics, the 60/40 success rate isn't encouraging at all. 

Now let's look at the statistics
 4.5 months – the average time before a long distance relationship breaks down
 40% of all long distance relationships ends with a break-up
 70% of all failed long distance relationships fails due to unplanned changes

I suggest reading Bob Grant's Love Distance Love Guide which provides clear and easy to use formulas to making long distance relationships work.

Distance and Time difference
After spending hours of long flights, you finally get to meet your partner but the time spent with your partner is merely a few hours and that's all you got before flying home. Most long distance relationship will not last for more than half a year and couples only get to talk to each other for only a few times in 6 months.

Distance and time difference are the biggest killers here. Say if you and your partner are living in cities that are far apart, the time difference is 13 hours. 9 a.m on your side will mean 10 p.m for your partner. While you woke up fresh and energize, your partner is deadbeat and feeling fatigue from a day's work and is ready to go to bed for a good night rest. But you called your partner to chat. The difference in energy levels affects the quality of the conversation and fatigue causes moodiness which reduces the desire for long conversations. Some couples even ended quarreling over small issues because of that. Even if the time difference isn't that great but the difference in energy levels caused by the time difference will result in different frequencies between both of you which will still affect the quality of your conversation.

So what is 3+3 Principles?
3+3 is the abbreviation for 3 Highs + 3 Lows. So what are the 3 Highs and 3 Lows?

High in security - You need a very strong sense of security, much stronger than what you will need in a short distance relationship. If that sense of security is lacking in you then you will worry when you don't see your partner, you will worry if you don't know the whereabouts your partner. Video chat isn't quite useful sometimes, if you are a highly sensitive person then video chat can be hurdle to you. You cannot notice the tiny details in the facial expression of your partner through video chat and you could end up misreading the expression eg....your partner might look disinterested while talking to you but that isn't the case. 

However, you will start to overthink and worry if your partner has lost interest in you or have betrayed you. You need that strong sense of security and have complete trust in your partner if you want to survive such relationship.

High imagination - When you are living far apart, the most common tools used to express your feelings to your partner are phone calls, text messages or video chat. The most commonly used will be text messages to avoid expensive long distance calls. You either send texts or emoticons to express your feelings. Say if you send emoticons that say "Kiss", "I love you", "I hug you" or "I miss you", it basically mean nothing to the unimaginative person, because such person cannot feel anything from those images you have sent. 

A person with vivid imagination is more receptive of this. A highly imaginative person lets his imagination runs wild and start picturing all kind of scenes that are related to those images and begin to "feel" the "hugs" and "kisses" and the feelings are real and intense, the tendency to imagine is second-nature to such person. It is so real to this person that it creates a feeling of closeness and intimacy just by imagination alone. If you are one you will know what I meant. It actually helps in long distance relationship.

However, if you are low on imagination, it doesn't matter how many times those images were sent to you it makes no difference to you because it doesn't bring you feeling any closer to your partner, it doesn't create that mutual feelings and closeness in you because it is so unreal to you.

High in stability - You need high stability in both character and relationship. You have to be emotionally stable to handle any forms of relationship. Are you able to reconnect with your partner since last conversation, I don't mean the dialogue but the emotional state. If you put down the phone feeling reluctant to part with your partner in last your conversation, weeks later when you call your partner again can you recall that same feeling you had previously and bring that emotional state up and express that feeling to your partner creating linkage between how you feel now and how you felt previously. In short, reconnect with your partner like a drama series so there's a continuity in feelings. 

You need to express and communicate clearly to maintain stability in your relationship. The biggest challenge in long distance relationship is second-guessing, both partners are suspicious of each other's loyalty and trustworthiness. It is not easy to maintain trust in such relationship therefore you will need a high level of trust to maintain the stability of your relationship.


Low in control - A long distance relationship is clearly not for the control freak. You have to have to give up your control over your partner just like you would for all other forms of relationship. When your partner is living far apart from you, your need for control cannot be satisfied therefore making you feeling insecure. The key here is to build trust through communication and expression of feelings.

Sometimes you will feel frustrated when your partner's whereabouts is unknown and more so when you cannot see your partner as and when you want. Know that frustration doesn't open any doors for you. You got to bring the focus back to yourself and regulate your urge to question and control so you may approach the situation more calmly without turning this relationship into an unhealthy one. The only person you need to control is yourself. Stop your imagination from making stories up in your mind.

Low in temptation - You must resist temptation and resist creating temptation in others. If you are easily attracted to the opposite sex or you are promiscuous, you simply have no resistance to attractive people, you will suddenly find many "suitable candidates" whom you can open your heart to and you feel like you just have get close to that person then it is very likely that you will open the door for a potential third-party into your relationship. You cannot control the behaviors of your partner but you certainly can control yours. You must say No to your desires, reject that devil who is pestering and tempting you in your mind.

On the other hand, if you are too attractive you will also open the door for a potential third-party into your relationship. People are attracted to you like butterflies to nectar. Then learn to say No to invitations and keep a safe distance from the opposite sex, don't send the wrong signals to them that you are still available, you must know how to reject firmly when the opposite sex starts throwing themselves at you. I know this isn't easy but timely execution of self-control keeps the troubles out of your relationship. Stay high on rejections and low in temptation.

Low dependence - You got to be independent when your partner isn't by your side. If you are reliance on your partner in your previous relationship for your emotional needs or trivial matters like where to go for dinner, what to do for the weekend then it's time you take over the role of the influencer. You partner is not involved in your daily routines anymore and therefore you have to rely on yourself for most of your needs. Find activities to fill the void in your heart and you shouldn't let your heart feels empty for too long, do things that will bring you joy and excitement. That feeling of emptiness inside of you creates a vacuum for negative emotions and increase the chances of affairs. 

The key to this is to know that you are complete even when your partner isn't around.

If you are currently in a long distance relationship or intended to enter one but you are not sure how to make long distance relationship works then you must read the 
Long Distance Love Guide 

by Bob Grant. Bob gives you important lessons on how to make long distance relationship works in simple to understand format that you can use immediately.

Please share with your friends if you like this article.

Best wishes to you.

The 3+3 Principles That Makes Long Distance Relationship Works The 3+3 Principles That Makes Long Distance Relationship Works Reviewed by Brent S. Duncan on 10:21 PM Rating: 5

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