How To Handle These Two Personality Types In Courtship

It doesn't matter if you are a man in a courtship or a woman making the first move in  the courtship. What happened if the person you are after is the quiet type? How do you engage them? The most common quiet types are the Observer and the Self-contradictory.

The Observer

The Observer likes to gather and analyze information, conclusion must be made for the information gathered before making any decision. The Observer gains confidence from concrete information, it makes them feel secure and right about any decisions they are going to make.

Be very clear with your intention, don't play hard to get or hide and seek with them. You have to be very open to them. Don't make them guess your gestures because they don't like to play the guessing games. They want to gather accurate information behind your intentions and when information is unclear to them, they will hesitate and eventually give up any possibility of letting you into their lives even if there's a 80% chance that you are sincere about them.

Man - If you are going after the Observer woman, the #1 quality you must have is patience. Be stable, straightforward and open in your approach, don't keep them guessing. Remember? They like to observe and gather information before making decision. You have to give them time to collect information about you and process the information they have gathered from your body language, the words you said and the consistency of your efforts, they need to time to form that complete picture of you and your intentions.

Woman - If you want to date Observer man, you have to make your intention to date him obvious. It has to be so obvious that even your neighbors know that you want to date him. Any slight concealment will send them guessing and cause them to back off if you try to advance without giving them time to uncover what you are trying to conceal.

They are not difficult people to date as long as you take time to know them, just remember the keywords: Patience, Openness and No Hide and Seek.


Self-contradictory people tend to worry for nothing and are fearful of not being able to handle events or things that occur randomly. Overthinking and excessive worries are part and parcel of their lives which caused them to feel very insecure about people and their environments. They wanted love but is afraid of getting into one because their excessive worries stopped them from receiving love.

The Self-contradictory and the Observer type have one thing in common - they have no desire for love games that most people play. That means don't play hard to get or hide and seek, It makes them feel insecure and will imagine what happen if this hide and seek game becomes part of the relationship, this worries them more than anything else and they eventually will give up. Romancing them is neither difficult nor easy.

The Self-contradictory needs a strong partner who can handle life issues with composure.

Man - If you are going to date the Self-contradictory woman, you got to speak and act positive because she is relying on you for mental and emotional security. If you make a mountain out of mole hill then you will trigger that worry mechanism in her.

Woman - The same advice applies to you. The Self-contradictory man can make a very good partner however he needs a strong woman in his life. 

Keywords: Mental and Emotionally security, Positive thinking, Stay Calm and No Hide and Seek.

Read Understand Yourself, Understand Your Partner for deeper understanding of your partner, this paperback contains 574 pages in total describing 45 possible pairings of the 9 personality types. Or get the kindle version here.

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How To Handle These Two Personality Types In Courtship How To Handle These Two Personality Types In Courtship Reviewed by Brent S. Duncan on 8:18 PM Rating: 5

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